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[Sad post] ...

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, Nov 15, 2016.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    My fiancé and I became pregnant with out third child. It was the biggest shock of my life we had taken plan B right after (we got drunk at family members wedding) and thought nothing more. Until October 7, we walked into A local pizza parlor and I immediately felt as if I was going to throw up. I knew right then. We stopped at 7-11 and bought a test; hoping it was negative. It wasn't. Thirteen positives test later it hit me. I'm pregnant. Now wasn't the time for children. We sold our home last year and moved in with his parents so I could finish school and we could have a little extra help with our two children. In January my fiancé starts a new job where he will be out of town Sunday through Thursday's. I was thinking of all these other factors then what my gut told me. On October 28 I saw my angel on the ultrasound and I knew I didn't want to. My fiancé wanted me to even though he said it was my decision his actions spoke louder than his words. I canceled my appointment three times before I went. The whole ride up I kept praying and hoping he would turn and say let's wait and think or let's just have three. Not a word was spoken. I know I looked fine but inside I was dying. I was hoping a car hit me or something. We got their and I filled out paperwork and held my tears back when all I wanted to do was run away. They called me back took blood and then had me wait yet again. During waiting I actually texted him and said let's leave and keep the baby. His response was it's not the time. Why didn't I run out then I knew what I wanted. They called me back and had me change then take two pills to soften my cervix. I didn't want to- I wanted to say no I need to go. But I took the pills. Twenty minutes later I was taken back and told to lie down on this cold table and I wanted to run then. Next thing I'm in recovery and I got dressed and left so fast the nurses were surprised. I needed out. I thought I was going to die but I left as fast as I could. Then my misery started of what I did. Now I can't sleep or function. I can't look at my two kids without breaking down bawling. I can't eat. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I can't seem to smile or find joy in anything.

    What I did was wrong and I can't talk to anyone because I "chose" this. My family's catholic they would utterly disown me. My best friend has had 3 and could care less about what happened. My fiancé can't comprehend how I've gone from one of the happiest people to someone who doesn't want to do anything but cry.
     
  2. Trigeo

    Trigeo The Serial Poster Staff Member Administrator Super Moderator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Support Specialist Manager SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG G5 Yellow Rose Turquoise butterfly Autumn Yellow Leaf Emerald Hot Drink Halloween Bats Angel February Leaves

    Joined:
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    I'm so sorry you are hurting. I hope you will consider registering for an account. On the main boards you will have access to thousands of threads and supportive members who will help you through this pain. What you are describing is something many, many on the site understand and you will be met with caring compassion. Peace to you.