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[struggling!] Correct decision but yet...

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, May 28, 2012.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Hi, my name is Isabel and I'm having my 17th birthday this friday. I had an abortion 2 weeks ago, I just didn't felt prepared for a child. I had a lot of pressure to end up my pregnancy. My bf and me, both have depressions and we aren't mature enough to raise up a child. However, despite I think my chosen option was correct, I feel horrible. Sometimes I don't go to school anymore. My grades are about to drop from A to C, I sometimes don't want to live anymore. I cannot see pregnant women or little children anymore because I think of the child I could have right now inside of me.
    My bf is also going through a difficult phase too. We are always argueing about the pain we both feel. My mum doesn't help much. She doesn't accept the fact that I really feel grief and sadness about what I've done.
    I feel just like an hypocrite. I wanted that child, but didn't want him to sufferthe consecuences neither of having unstable parents nor a well structured family.I didn't want to depend on my mum to raise my child beacuse we both live on my father's pension. So why am I feeling so depressed? What can I do to heal myself? Thank you in advanced.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2012
  2. Julie78

    Julie78 former Tech Admin

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2002
    Messages:
    9,945
    Location:
    Canada
    Hi Isabel and welcome to the boards.

    What you're describing sounds like a lot our stories. Please feel free to sign up for membership here and check out the "Our Stories" board as well as New Members board.
     
    lonely thistle likes this.
  3. lonely thistle

    lonely thistle ~I'm fine = I wish I could tell you how I'm really Alumni Volunteer

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2010
    Messages:
    6,262
    Location:
    Scotland
    I didn't understand why I felt so bad after I decided on ab. I too had suffered badly from depression, I knew I couldn't keep the one thing I wanted most in the world. I did what I thought was the right thing for me given my set of circumstances. Yet it doesn't make it easier. It seems cruel to grieve a loss of your angel but also grieve a loss of yourself.

    I hope that you do join the site, there are some amazing women who give you the space and time to work your way through the whole process. :j
     
    Julie78 likes this.
  4. Rowanoak

    Rowanoak 'Be kind to people, for everyone you meet is fight Alumni Volunteer

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2010
    Messages:
    12,203
    Location:
    USA
    Hi Isabel, I also hope you will join, there are many incredible, understanding women here who will be very glad to listen and give you support. I was in difficult circumstances in many ways when I had an abortion, in many ways I felt I had no real choice or good choices -- but it still was terribly sad. Your reasons can be valid but you can grieve anyway. It just isn't as simple as many people seem to think.

    Sending you lots of hugs. :j :j :j
     
  5. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    I feel the same way. I was 17 also when I got pregnant and I was already to go to college and had so many dreams for myself, so I decided on an abortion. I was so relieved at first, because I knew I could go to college and have a career. I also knew I made the right decision because I didn't want people to judge me as a teen mom, and the father already told me he wanted nothing to do with me and the baby. It is now a little over a year now and I am still so depressed. I feel like if I could sit down and talk with the father about stuff I would feel better, but all he can say is I don't know why your so upset to me it never happened. But he doesn't understand I was three months pregnant when I found out because every test was negative, I carried that baby for three months and he was not around he didn't know what I went through. My mom isn't much help because she just wants to forget it happened. Every time I see a baby I think about my little girl, Erin, and wish she was with me but she is not. I am overloading myself in school because I gave her up to go to school and I want to be the best I can be. I hope you understand you are not alone.