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Dealing with abortion

N

Nataria

Guest
***Trigger Warning, brief mention of a child, suicidal thoughts***



Hi everyone.

I went through a medical abortion at the hospital last friday,
It was the worst I've ever been through.
We really wanted to baby although it was very early in our relationship and not planned for.
So I was pregnant until week 10,
The dreams, namethinking, the love you already have for it,
Then I discovered that my bf showed drinking problems, probably facing a depression, and in the last minute he also confessed he had debts.

I have a 7 year old girl, whos dad died, and I just couldn't risk it. Even if he was saying he wanted to do everything to get better. The fact that he had been lying , apologising and repeating it, made me feel very insecure.
Now he just disappeard, no one knows where he is. He hasn't even been on fb for a week. Been talking to both relatives and friends, no information. So I reported it to the police.


Now, these are feelings that are very difficult to handle because I also have to keep it together for my daughter.
Before the abortion I went on meds as soon as I could to prevent having a bad episode of depression so I feel like I'll be fine in that area.

Now I have signs of my old anorexia coming up. I have tried to excercise 2-3 times a week on a crosstrainer. Very hard tempo pushing myself to the limit. For all the feelings, but also because I just want to erase every reminder on my body from the pregnancy since I got a bump pretty fast this time.
Now I'm loosing my appetite, and it's getting hard to stay motivated . I eat somewhat normally but not like before, and I just feel like I want all me to dissapear.
Sorry for the long post.
 
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I'm so sorry for all you've been through and are going through, Nataria. I would strongly recommend that you register for an account and join the main community. It's a good, safe, extremely supportive place.
 

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