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[Feeling sad...] Help

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Hey my name is Kesha. Two years ago my life changed forever. I was forced to make the hardest decision in my life. I found out I was pregnant my Junior year of college. I had just joined a sorority and so close to obtaining my BSW. My life was so great; then this bomb shell dropped. I was so torn apart! To be brutally honest, I didn't even support abortions at this time. I never understand how people could do it, until I was in their shoes. I knew that the baby's father was a piece of crap, who would leave me to raise a kid on my own. I knew that I would break my parents heart if I dropped out of school to raise a kid. Especially, with only one year left. I felt all my dreams slipping away and my anxiety kicked in. I spent a week trying to figure out what to do. Should I keep it or not? Ultimately, I choose to have a surgical abortion. It was the worst day or my life. I can still feel the coldness of the tools the doctor used. Now I am here two years later, crying in my bed. I feel so guilty so selfish. I choose myself over my child. How can I ever forgive myself. My mother and my best friend ( who both have experienced an abortion) told me that in time this pain will pass.... guess what that was two years ago and I still feel the pain. I still cry thinking about it. I wonder if I made the right choice. Sometimes, I even wish I could go back do it differently. I cant keep going on like this. I feel so weird like something is wrong with me. Why am I still hurting two years later... after all this is what I wanted isn't it?
     
  2. Trigeo

    Trigeo The Serial Poster Staff Member Administrator Super Moderator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Support Specialist Manager SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG G5 Yellow Rose Turquoise butterfly Emerald Hot Drink Angel February Leaves

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
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    23,553
    Gender:
    Female
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    Canada
    Hi, Kesha. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like you have some real life support in your mom and friend, but they seem to have a different perspective.
    This is a very common though confusing feeling. It's quite complex but what it boils down to is this: this isn't what you wanted; what you wanted was not to be in that set of circumstances. No longer being pregnant is not the same as never having been pregnant. This is where the conflicting thoughts and feelings come from.

    The good news is healing is possible and this site can help you. Please strongly consider registering for an account and then you will have access to thousands of threads and our entire community of caring members. Your post here can only be supported by volunteers. I hope you will come join us...I'll keep an eye out for you on the main boards!
     
  3. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Thank you for your kind words! I signed up for an account my username is Broken_soul_328. I look forward to joining this accepting community.
     
  4. Brokenfairy

    Brokenfairy Look at the stars; look how they shine for you... Alumni Volunteer

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,649
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Hi there and welcome to the boards, Kesha. I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but I'm so pleased that you've found us. I can see you've made an account with us now which is great. Please keep posting, maybe try the main women's support boards to start off with as more people may view that and we want you to get all the support available to you x