Trigger Warning: briefly mentions the continued pregnancy of another and newborn It all started in early November. November 9th to be exact. I got pregnant. A month later I showed symptoms and I took a test. Positive. I was terrified. My boyfriend at the time was illegal and he was the most immature guy I had ever known at the age of 26. I had no idea what to do. My family being highly religious and my mother had just said, "her parents must be ashamed of her," about a friend of mine who recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I felt alone. I dug myself into a hole of depression. My best friend was the only one who supported me. My boyfriend wanted to keep it. I said are you kidding me? You can barely pay rent and you never have money to feed yourself. How could you possibly provide for a child? I'm convinced he just wanted me to have the child so he could more easily become a citizen. I found out he was cheating on me and I ended things. (The day of the abortion). The day of my abortion I was ok at first, I knew I was doing the right thing for my self and for the child. Then when I was recovering after the procedure this girl came in screaming and crying. That's when I started overthinking. What had I done? I can tell you there isn't a day that goes by where I don't break down thinking about what I could have. I have no one I know who truly understands what I feel and I wish I had someone to talk to who has been through what I have. The abortion took place on January 3rd. And here I am, broken and confused looking for help here. So I don't know how to feel, I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal. Sincerely, a woman who just wants to know.