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[Feeling sad...] Husband needs advice

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Today my wife had an abortion. And there is a lot of guilt associated with it. I don't know if is even the right place to look, most crisis counselling supports are sadly non specific in dealing with abortion. .....
    Anyways.. my wife had the procedure, I argued strongly in favor, and she pays the price.. ultimately she feels like she ******ed our child . these are valid and real feelings.
    I guess the why i ask for help is that we never wanted kids, this was an unintended pregnancy, we both have serious mental health issues (mine undiagnosed, but still my responsibility) and hers serious depression and anxiety disorders, suicide survivor.
    I don't have the tools to be able to help her, and this is my responsibility because she needs help .
     
  2. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    and to the mods.. I apologise for having an inflammatory word in my text... very sorry
     
  3. Twin Flame

    Twin Flame ...that place between sleep and awake... Alumni Volunteer Wave

    Joined:
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    I'm so sorry for the suffering you are both going through. Even though it was a choice and something you both decided for personal reasons, she is still experiencing a loss and needs to grieve it. All the logical reasons in the world don't amount to a hill of beans at this point. Part of it relates to pregnancy hormones and the body trying to regulate that which takes some time. And the other part is grief. You're right, most crisis centers would not focus on grief counseling.

    I'm glad you found Passboards. It's a non-judgmental site devoted solely to women healing post-abortion. Please consider joining the boards. We have a specific forum for men, relatives and friends where you can post. You might want to look at this link for ideas on how to best help your wife. I hope to see you on the boards. (((hug)))
     
  4. Miss Chip

    Miss Chip Self confessed chocoholic! Staff Member Administrator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Tech Support SRG A5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 SRG F5 Emerald England

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    Hi there. I can only reiterate what has already been said. Even though this was a choice it doesn't mean the loss doesn't exist. These feelings are genuine for anyone suffering a loss and the hormones still raging won't help either. Both of you are welcome to create accounts here and it might help her to chat to other women who have gone through what she has and can understand these feelings. For you, you need to let her know that you are there for her to chat to about things if she needs to.
     
  5. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Thank you, I spoke with my wife and we both set up accounts last night.
     
  6. Miss Chip

    Miss Chip Self confessed chocoholic! Staff Member Administrator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Tech Support SRG A5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 SRG F5 Emerald England

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    England
    Good to hear :) See you both on the other side
     
  7. molliesue

    molliesue Cheers ...

    Joined:
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    I am glad you joined out boards - WELCOME! :J