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[Feeling sad...] It's been 3 weeks...

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Today marks 3 weeks since my abortion. I figured I would be okay by now. I find myself avoiding anything related to children, I get sad if someone touches my belly, and I am dreading getting my period. I also have extreme bouts of sadness and crying that comes from nowhere, but that hasn't happened for the past week. My friend, who is my biggest support is tired of hearing about it. I think she feels like I should be over it. I keep trying to remind myself that I am in mourning.

    I just need to get my feelings out in the open. What have been your experiences? Would it be a good idea to seek professional help?
     
  2. Miss Chip

    Miss Chip Self confessed chocoholic! Staff Member Administrator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Tech Support SRG A5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 SRG F5 Emerald England

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    You are in mourning and there is no set date to be over something like this. It's a huge loss you've suffered and some people can feel this way for quite a few months, sometimes years. I had professional help after my abortion and I was thankful for it. I was on antidepressants whilst I had abortion specific counselling.

    There are many women here who have been through what you have and we understand completely the feelings you are experiencing so please do come and make an account and come and chat to us here. Talking does help and this is a safe place to do so.
     
  3. PrincessEpona

    PrincessEpona Chatterbox Alumni Volunteer SRG Leader SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 Emerald

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    I agree with everything that Miss Chip has said. There are so many things that go on when we have an abortion. There is the physical and hormonal changes, the emotional, and everything else in-between. I had my abortion 16 years ago and didn't start to deal with until 3 years ago. It took me a long time but I am glad I took the time to do the work and heal myself.

    One thing I have found is that there is no place for support like this group. If someone hasn't gone through an abortion it can be very difficult for them to understand it. It is a process of healing with no end date.

    I hope that you'll consider registering and joining our community. I found a lot of information, support and healing here and think that you could, too.

    Take care,
    Viki
     
  4. takethatfan

    takethatfan New Member

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    I had mine on saturday, didn't want too but did and so empty it's unreal :(

    can anyone talk to me about how your body dealt with it after x im still losing clots and bleeding irregular after 4 days is this the norm x
     
  5. PrincessEpona

    PrincessEpona Chatterbox Alumni Volunteer SRG Leader SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 Emerald

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    Hi takethatfan

    I am sorry you went through this experience but am glad you're here. It takes time for the body to return back to normal and we can experience a variety of things post abortion. It also takes time for the mind and heart to catch up to what the body has gone through. Being here will, hopefully, be incredibly helpful to you. I know it has been for me.

    I am not a medical provider so here is what I think might be your best next steps:

    Do you have a two week follow up appointment scheduled? If not, it would be good to schedule one even if the facility or doctor didn't mention it. I wasn't asked to or offered a follow up appointment so I never went. I learned being here that a two week follow up should be done to make sure that everything is healing properly.

    If you don't have one scheduled and would rather not go, it might be worth to call and see if they can tell you what are normal experiences after and what are things that may call for concern.

    I hope this helps!

    If you want or need to talk please don't hesitate to reach out.

    Take care,
    Viki
     
  6. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    I had my abortion about a month ago. Writing that sentence has bought tears to my eyes. I had my second post-abortion scan on Monday and was given the all clear 'medically'. I'm writing on here as I've just watched a TV programme where the character told her partner she was pregnant and it made him so happy, he said the words "we are a family now" and without even knowing it, I was in floods of tears.

    I am 23, my boyfriend 20, I graduated from university a year ago, he still has two years left, I am a freelance journalist on a very insecure contact, my boyfriends family has a history of Huntingtons disease, which is genetically passed on and can be 'medically' removed from an egg and sperm to prevent the passing of the disease- for all these reasons we had to terminate our baby.

    I am heartbroken! I never realised before, but I want to be a mummy. I wanted this baby SO SO much but our circumstances and my parents certainly wouldn't have allowed or supported us.

    I am so angry with myself for letting the pregnancy happen and so so depressed that because of my selfishness I had to terminate a life. I saw the embryo sack- I saw my baby. I was the one person in the world to protect that life and I let it down, I could have saved it but instead I ****** it. I don't yet know if I regret my decision, I suppose only time will tell, but I'm hurting, I'm dying inside, I think about this every day and I've noone to talk to this about.

    I know feeling sad, remorseful and guilt is all part of the process but it hurts so much I can't take the guilt and sadness.

    How do I begin to respect/love myself again after all the hate I feel towards myself?
     
  7. PrincessEpona

    PrincessEpona Chatterbox Alumni Volunteer SRG Leader SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG E5 Emerald

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    Hi and welcome to the boards.

    I am so sorry you're struggling. A month feels like a long time and a short time all at once. Your hormones are still working themselves back to normal and when that happens it can make coping with everything easier. I've told many women this... Just because the decision was right doesn't mean we won't feel sad, disappointed, etc. about it all. It can very hard especially when we discover that we want to be a mom but the time of the pregnancy wasn't right for any number of reasons.

    I was 18 when I got pregnant. I had a horrible family life and knew that bringing a baby into my world would have meant only heartache for her and me. I knew then as I know now that I was protecting her by not having her. I think that having to make the choice to have a baby or not takes so much strength and courage... it takes so much strength and courage to handle what comes after the procedure is done.

    You don't need to know if you regret the abortion or not. You don't need to do or be or feel anything except for what you are experiencing. What you are experiencing right now, although painful and difficult, is normal. It takes time but it also takes work to heal the wound(s) of our experience. You can feel different then you do right now :) Being patient with yourself, honoring how you feel/your experience, and working through what has happened are the best things you can do for yourself at this time.

    I think you'd really benefit from joining our group as everything you are described can be found in someone else's story. Although our stories and reasons vary, we have the experience of abortion in common :) This is the most wonderful group of women I could have ever asked for to have help me through! I hope you'll consider joining us!

    Take care,
    Viki
     
  8. Buckette

    Buckette Oldie Staff Member Administrator Super Moderator Moderator SRG Manager SRG Leader Technical Administrator Junior Support Specialist Manager Moderator Manager SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG G5 SRG F5 Sapphire Turquoise butterfly Emerald

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    Do register for an account and join us on the main boards, hun. This board is only seen by volunteers and administrators, but you will find many caring and compassionate members on the main boards who can relate to everything your saying. It's a good place, I promise.