I had an abortion June 16th of this year. Initially I thought it was the right thing to do because I just started a new job in Feb and got pregnant in March. It was the wrong timing and plus I want to go back to school. At the time, I really loved my boyfriend. Initially he didn’t want me to get an abortion but then he confessed and said he agreed that we weren’t ready for a child. In turn he kept reneging and said he don’t agree with abortion but in turn told me that I should and what ever my decision was he would support me. I decided to get an abortion because it was the wrong timing and we as a couple or as people weren’t ready. I want to make sure I complete my education and start my dream career before I birth any kids. He on the other hand wasn’t trying to find a better job than the one he had and all he did was drink and abuse painkillers. When he got paid he always went shopping for himself. When we went out I always paid MOST of the time. When he found out I was pregnant he did NOTHING for me. I remember like it was yesterday that I told him before going into work that I was sick and that I threw up like 3 times. He told me to take my ass to work that I’ll be ok. I was craving apples and oranges and not once did he offer me anything. I felt like I was alone. I only had my sister to make sure I ate and made sure I had money in my pocket when I was broke. I fault myself for ignoring all the red flags I seen in him because I really loved him. I often hate myself because I feel like if I wouldn’t have ignored them I wouldn’t have been through none of it. I regret my decision so much I feel horrible. I still think about it every single day. I don’t cry everyday single but I still have my moments. I feel like people don’t understand unless they really been through something like this. I’m sensitive to seeing babies and pregnant people because it makes me feel guilty for what I did. And constantly, I think about what would’ve been if I hadn’t gotten an abortion. I haven’t forgiven myself for it and I don’t know if I will be able too. I pray to God for forgiveness. I really fell into a deep depression for a couple months. I’m at a place now go where I get out more. I try to avoid going places to where I would see him or his mother but unfortunately I have seen them and when I do my blood boils. His mother condemned me for doing the same thing she did and I can’t understand why. I often wonder what’s the difference between me and the next person? I’m not a bad person Lord knows I’m not. I do regret my decision. I learned from my mistake I truly have.