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Shame

Discussion in 'Guest Board' started by Unregistered, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    When I was in Social Work school, I responded to an email that was actually a list-serve. I had religious and abortion information sent to an entire university campus. I am bipolar. I was manic and the dean wanted me to wait a year before coming back but I made it almost impossible to go back because the abortion had pained me so much I kept saying (because my whole identity was being a student) "I had a 3.6 GPA last semester, if I can handle an abortion and school I can handle this and school. I was never able to face the shame of facing a counsel to prove that I was okay. The shame of it all was made public for me because I was manic and guilty and my mourning for the unborn child is intensified by the character I displayed at the time. I keep trying to tell myself I can't blame myself for a person I'm not anymore but it's o impossible not to feel shame. I have felt shame for 20 years.
     
  2. SuzanneL

    SuzanneL Abracadabra Staff Member Moderator SRG C5 Puppy Flip flops Yellow Rose Spring Bouquet Blue Rose Sunflower Wave I love you Kiss Star Dove chocolate Butterfly Candle Butterfly Balloon Emerald

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
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    Female
    Location:
    Hell in a HandBasket
    I'm sorry you are struggling. I understand having the same intense feelings for a period of years. It's extremely hard. You have found the right place to heal. I encourage you to make an accountant so you can maximize the support we give. This is an amazing group of ladies who understand. If I can help in any way please don't hesitate to ask. (((BigHugs)))
     
  3. Buckette

    Buckette Oldie Staff Member Administrator Super Moderator Moderator SRG Manager SRG Leader Technical Administrator Junior Support Specialist Manager Moderator Manager SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG D5 SRG G5 SRG F5 Sapphire Turquoise butterfly Autumn Yellow Leaf Emerald

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2009
    Messages:
    26,805
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
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    I'm so sorry for all you've been through and all you're going through, but I also want to encourage you to register for an account and join us on the main boards as this, the Guest board, is only seen by volunteers and Admins. There are many of us there who only sought healing years afterwards and we really do understand.
     
  4. Trigeo

    Trigeo The Serial Poster Staff Member Administrator Super Moderator Moderator SRG Leader Technical Administrator Support Specialist Manager SRG A5 SRG B5 SRG C5 SRG G5 Yellow Rose Turquoise butterfly Autumn Yellow Leaf Emerald Hot Drink Halloween Bats Angel February Leaves

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    23,465
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    I hope you will join us on the main boards where you will have access to an incredible community who will support your healing. It can be scary to make the leap, but it is very much worth it.